Saturday, July 30, 2005
woah... today mi happy mood... hehe... feel love in the air... haha... nah.. juz the feeling only. went to the salon to get more flyers. met manager n tok. then he tok to customer n create a very funny joke.. to mi... haha... then we tok abt police which he work for ten years. hmm... :) when mi on way to orchard distribute, he msg to ask whether wanna go for movie n tok more abt it later... but then today will be tired... it feels like when mi starting to like keigo the feeling. but mi 100% not certain. i think he should be ard 35. since he did ns then work in police for 10 years. plus now a manager of salon... but he dun look like the age. interesting... he last time in CID.. i also want. then when working, met yihsuan n xiangting go shopping. chat awhile n know the guys will not be coming out this wkends... a few minutes later, saw tuan teng n jihmei... woah... long time no see le... his hair looked so dry... then after 7, theres a crazy guy, go shout n scold the blind man singing at the tunnel there... something like take ppl money still dun sing properly... or dunno wat else... then say dun be so arrogant i tell u... see la... like this siao anot... after that met B.H.I friend. say yesterday she go audition arranged by B.H.I for chinese movie. she is a malay for info... name: hatini. jacqueline(jac) oso ask mi today go take photo... but must bring alot of things. so i nv go. haiz... if go police then i will very ugly liao... :(
flashbacks of the past [9:48 PM]
Friday, July 29, 2005
morning time, manager call... ask abt how i doing. then asked whether i got note down the time i distribute. lucky i got save the sms... else later he deny it. i told him i dun1 to do liao... but still must do 4 one or 2 weeks. today i do until 4 plus, then the mrt ppl come n asked if this is my bag. say the ppl complain maybe got bomb or wat... wat the... my bag open big big... dunno how to look inside see ar... dunno how to ask suspected ppl of owning the bag b4 complaining... then they ask mi carry it to distribute... so heavy u noe... such big bag... so many ppl... knock here knock there how to distribute... there got 1 more gal her bag oso on the floor... y ask mi nv ask her... huh~ angry liao... dun1 to do already. then i dun feel like going home. but nothing to do. go window shop is tiring with a big bag. then ktv n movie is so ex... but then after thinking 4 1 hr at mac, decided to go watch movie ba... really can think of anything to do. went cineleisure... alot of movie... dunno choose which... then i go watch the korean comedy "She's in Action". WoW~ nice leh... can go watch oso ppl... hmm... my dreams is to be super policewomen... to fight gangsterism... i like to fight... :D
flashbacks of the past [11:09 PM]
Thursday, July 28, 2005
lets 1st say from the beginning of the week. on monday, i told my flyer manager mi not working. then i went shopping with lin-er. we spent the whole afternoon n night at far east only... cant shop finish. cos alot of thing interest her. oso a big part of the time we sitting down to eat n drink n rest. cos we 2 stupid girl wear high heels come walk... then i have to plaster here n there... haa... we even took her cam to take some pic... some stupid some beautiful... haha... then saw chen feng ling n her bf... cyn msg mi ask mi the police there got ask mi go check up anot... i say no. then mom call say the police send letter again. then she ask brother open n see... then i say... how can open my things... i 1 surprise mah... then u tell mi now... then she say she oso wanna noe mah... -_-... she oso so excited...
tuesday i went to distribute again... the guy friend come find mi. do nothing then keep stand there say pei wo... i say there oso do nothing... i oso no time tok to u... but he dun listen. make mi no mood work. a person stand there see wat i doing. then i say... go rest la... then went mac eat. then i nv distribute liao... wasted a day... then he say like got saw news say warn china student n singaporeans dun work there cos they dun pay us after that... hmm... must ask le... then cyn call the police to ask can go earlier date anot. then there say anytimt walk in oso can. so we decide to go together tml. then i msg my manager tell him sorry tml mi not working again. but he no reply... n i nv say more.
wednesday early morning meet cyn at raffles place go check up. then gotta test urine. then eye, ht/wt, then go room doctor check blood pressure, then press the body... itchy oso dun dare to move much. the doctor somemore is guy... then he check breast i so paiseh... lucky cyn, hers is gal... haiz... go medical check up think should be able to go police le hor? after that actually wanna go klunch with cyn... but she gotta go back her work place. then mi alone sing. it juz sux...
thursday which i today. i had quite enjoyable time. mi work only 3 n 1/2 hrs. cos flyers bring not enough. a talent scouter approach mi, i told her i'm inside already. after that she say help her add a name inside lor. then mi juz anyhow say im stella... the ppl call, then i say mi not interested... then she ask then y give phone number... mi told her after giving number then think maybe i dun suit. haiz... abit scare if she continue say then i dunno how to ans. today saw goh cheng mum n wang de yuan... then came across a very cute little boy... aww... so cute sia... when he walk pass mi, then his head keep turn to see mi. then mi oso look all the way. then mi smile at him, then he smile back... very cute... then mi wave... n he wave back... woah... kawaii desu shou.... dunno how to describe... makes my day... somemore today not tired.
flashbacks of the past [10:11 PM]
Saturday, July 23, 2005
today 2nd day go distribute flyers. met alot of ppl. at 1sts at 12pm, mi go bugis there take more flyers... wat the... so heavy... i go toilet or go buy drink, take until my hand want to drop liao... wanna bleed liao... i take then put down take then put down... i go marriot toilet then go mac eat... then go outside tang rest... eat snake for abt 1 hr ba... then ching n ruiyi saw mi n caome tok. all army boy all non voice sick liao... saw shem oso. waiting for ppl i think. then mi continue go distribute... the tunnel oso dun put aircon. very hot 1 neh... then saw edwin n eka, james soon n girlfriend walk pass 2 times... then got shun qiang n gf, then saw primary sch friend n bf... alot of ppl hor... that manager asked mmi if later meet friends will paiseh anot... of course not. mi wanna work orchard so i can meet them mah... else so long nv get chance to see them... but har... very tired n so little money. i work 7 hrs today, including eat alot of snake, only got $35... :(
flashbacks of the past [9:55 PM]
Friday, July 22, 2005
today my 1st day do flyer distributor. though not alot the pay. but nvm :) didnt bring enough flyers... thats y mi come back after 3 hrs... wasted my time to go there. there har.. i saw the group of superstar-er... wah... excited. all wear n style very nice. their height for the guys oso like star. very nice... the wei lian oso go with them. but they didnt tok. whole group like meet out like usual but not in gd mood. think sad ba... after that saw the singapore idol, the one in ngee ann which looks like liqing. later meeting up with lin-er later go plaza walk walk talk talk... now mi just come back home put my things n on com awhile only... n who is the one that ask mi cheer up in my tagboard? brother??? ken??? shui???
flashbacks of the past [3:25 PM]
Thursday, July 21, 2005
i noe ive been too over, to 4get him. gone out wif single guy alone, thinking its just normal friendship. sorry if i have made your mistaken. really sorry. but i cant stand people liking mi now. n i dun like 'u' to say all those things today. where do your see mi good? i dun tok well, im not very very pretty, i dun do well in studies n all, im forgetful, hot-temper... and all the stupid things about mi. your make mi sin so much by making your sad. i dun want it. n now, im really fan2 about all these. made a decision. i will nv go out with guys alone. i dun want to get involve with such things. people understand mi. dun keep asking mi why or say anything more pls. but doesnt apply to all. which include sec sch friends. ok. remember. dun ask mi or say anything more. but still thankful for wat your have done.
today got went to see RED CANDY. really nice show. few parts made all the people in the cinema really jumped. including mi. n at the last part. so touching that mi cry... the main character like got 4. the gals r very very pretty ne... n the guy very handsome. whereby one of the main guy is he run dong.
flashbacks of the past [10:13 PM]
for goodness sake. i really dun like u tell mi the long msg. i wasnt even thinking much n now u make mi miss him so much so much. lying on bed i feel almost out of breath. same feeling as 1 year b4. when i cried. is the feeling rehappening again? more memories floated up. the 1st time u hold my hand. while crossing the road from bukit timah to esso station. was a little surprised n couldnt hide my smile. how sweet was it. how at the 2nd class chalet, a bunch of us walk to the dark house. how i hold my hand tight with yours stoping u from walking further. why... why... why 'u' must send mi that msg... y make mi miss him all over... ppl... telling u now. i dun1 to think or want any relationship. stop liking mi... else i'll chop off my head, make mi bled, jump down from my bblock.... ahh... turning crazy... calm down... calm down... wanted to cry. but scare my eyes will pop out nxt day... but really cant stand it le... when living room sit down n cry little bit then must control le bah... 230am. :( really cant fall aslp...
flashbacks of the past [3:01 AM]
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
today is 1 year since we break. we broke bcos i dunno how to be a simple person. all my fault. after so long, i managed to be quite alright already. but maybe over do it. i try to go out with other guys (friend friend only), even try to go to places we have memories. cos i think i cant avoid it forever. n the best is to cover up the memory of that place with other memory. i realised i've been harassing him after we break. i didnt know at that time cos i just cant control myself. cos after awhile i will msg him, some things like secret code or wat (siao de) or ask for patch n stuff. i truly want to say SORRY for the things that disturbed you. it was during exam period. i really cant concentrate, i cant slp or eat. my mind was thinking of him all the time. until i feel i might burst n turn crazy... haiz... shi lian really very stong effect. the solution is to not think of anything associate to him. cannot start thinking even like (i cannot think of him). there... the 'him' already u thinking already.
memories... ... walk to where he lives with his aunt. bought him beard papa puff and share. on other occassion. bought 2 ice-cream cone from the interchange to the mrt. he bought drinks n went his downstairs to eat n chat. other occassion, bought cup corn from westmall basement, then to shophouses bought fruits. went to the usual downstairs to eat n chat. he accompany mi to the busstop. ... ... b4 we started... ... same class for 1 sem, didnt realise or get know to their group. always hang around with zhiming, ruiyi and alan. until end of sem exam, class 1st outing to ktv at kster paradiz. 1st noticed him when he sings. it was Qing Tian by jay chou. i thought he sounded like him. n they say i sing not bad. then was the chalet. we played football on the beach n i keep accidentally step on his feet. think mi abit rough or clumsy bah. when going back, we passed the water around. he pass to mi. n when i passed back to him, i called him as keigo san. but i nv call him that when other ppl start calling this too. that nite was very fun. everyone playing together. very funny. there was true or dare. played for a long time. almost everyone was asked the same questions. when they asked who i would choose to be bf or to kiss among them, it will be embarassing to say one person. so i said either keigo or tuan teng. when this question was asked, i know i had a crushed on him. there was then some digit game whereby 2 person will be choosen in 2 game to take photo requested by others. i keep hoping i get a chance to take photo with him. but haiz... mi so ugly. he go wear his jacket. which make him looks nicer... :) christmas time we meet n walk everywhere around suntec n millenia walk. catch movie with friends at abt 3? when exchange present, how i hope i could get his or he get mine. new year eve, we meet out again. then got book a room at hotel 81. alot of ppl squeeze inside. exchange present. the other i nv give much cos dunno wat to buy. for him, i bought a necklace. but think not his taste. nv see him wear b4. when sch reopen, it was after mid jan when we start toking more. he buy mi back earring. so happy. n which i think he notice mi n had a little liking towards mi. it was study period 1 week b4 valentine day. n i saw westside story suddenly wang shao wei appear in the show. then i alert up. ei... they look alike leh... the nxt day at sch library study, i told him that. that time i havent noticed 5566 very much n dunno their member n anyone's name. so from then on, wang shao wei is my another idol. n 5566. he came to ask if anything i dunno can ask him. he even sat beside mi. even if its friend friend or wat, my heart was thumping abit with happiness. then i started chatting on msn n hp with him. i told him if got mtv asia award ticket, if can spare mi 1. i even asked him help mi send to win the ticket. so 2 person got higher chance. but then he got 2 tickets from edwin. n say go together. he wanna see oso n nobody wanna see liao. ahh... i happy until... didnt realise it was on valentines day. wow... so great. thought valentines day alone. but got a date with someone i like. we met at suntec n went to eat at marche. wow... i nv go out alone with guy de. but mi very happi. my feeling now is same as the situation i thinking. then we took cab to indoor stadium where edwin passed us the ticket. ic... so he working there so got ticket. i enjoy it. it was rare opportunity to see such thing n alone with him. after that, we went toilet n walk round the stadium b4 trying to go back. he just pick a ballon from the floor to mi. at the kallang mrt, we board a taxi back. i say give the balloon to his cousin ba... give mi oso no use. then he say i give 1 u dun1 arh. then i quickly took it back... want... y dun1... omg. a sec later i realise... omg i like give out myself that i like him like that... so pai seh. then was cyndi 1st album, i ask him buy for mi as he will be passing by the shop. we like quite close friend liao to ask him favours. he passed it to mi in class. i i feel quite paiseh as in front of everyone. but sweet as well. then give them disturb. but i juz say only shun bian only. we went to kbox very often. each week once. on IS wednesday. i keep hoping he sit beside mi. then 1 time, the ppl there asked wanna take photo anot... for dunno how much. we took, n the others like pull him stand behind mi. then we came back sch, he teach mi mpi. 2 of us only. i told him abt my sister... only to realise ive been cheated by my ex. that sis was actually hyori from korea. then i keep creating chance. like i dun feel like going back, take same bus with him to westmall walk walk alone then go home. he say accompany mi awhile lor. n treated mi coffee bean. so happy. else if my friend say wanna meet at westmall, i will be so happy oso... then i got chance to to 61 with him. even if got other friend. that time my friend havent reach. so he say walk with mi 1st. then my friend came n i showed him to her. hehe... told her him i like de. in sch, they would always go the other side of sch to kick football. my eyes was only on him. when i think he look my way, i would quickly turn away. almost every nite, he will msg sweet gd nite msges, or tok wif sms. i kept all forward sms n some normal tok sms. cos i feel sometimes the way he say like so close wif him like that. n his sms getting moroe obvious. but i still kept apart thinking im just a normal friend to him. else my dissappointment will be more. then, on march 17 2004, he msg, do u want to be my d_ _ r? i replied... do u wanna be my deer? do u wanna be my door??? i keep anyhow guess. he keep saying no. cos mi wanna him to spell out. but mi very very happi n excited already. but then i didnt agree right away. cos still must think abit. i really enjoyed us together this past month. will things be the same if we r together, will we quarrel or turn sour? i really dun mind us stay this way longer. but he already asked liao... then had a chat with willy. he say y dun give wach other a chance to try out... wanna hang high high to sell arh... haha... no la... then on 20th march 2004, i agreed. we didnt say out. but friends should be able to see out. a few days later class went to have steamboat. we sat close together n he take food to mi. like that all know liao lor. at kbox, our song was NI ZUI ZHEN GUI. its a must song. ppl will auto delicate de. he will send mi home, then mi wait with him for his bus to come b4 i walk back. the usual busstop. nxt is the changing of my whole self. he bought clothes, jeans, cut hair, put make up, bought mi adidas shoe. n all the place we've been seems so much memory. once i was sick, then go his house he take medicine, then sit other block high level. got wind. lying on him was comfortable. every nite we will tok awhile b4 we sleep. n surely theres kisses. we went to sentosa alone b4. suntanning. i remembered all i said which he laughed. mi sing a sentence little umbrella, n mentioning abt taking a photo while hugging the tree. how i wish i hugged him at that time he suntanning. like so sweet. but mi scare later he one patch body white. haha... then we walked around sentosa, go see musical fountain which got super huge crowd of tourist. once when we went to sheila birthday chalet. my memory there. things start to worsen when i think i can test him. i become a little bad temper. but my fault that i didnt even communicate with him much on bus all the way. cos scare i wanna vomit. n mi always scare this n that... feel abit wanna cry. i wasnt like that b4... i think he is nice n i am not gd. i say i scare one day u might leave mi. that make mi a little depress. then he buai tahan mi n msg... can you plz dun think so much, i wont leave you wan... where got say wont leave means wont leave. u dunno wat i mean. didnt u leave mi now... one time, dunno wat day, went to see fireworks at esplanade bridge. who noes, it was block by the building. then mi not happy. i was angry with the firework. unable to see. but he thought mi angry mi or that y angry over such matter. he say nxt time bring mi see. but i say dun1. i dunn1 to see again. he thought mi angry him. though i say no. stupid firework. i really hate it. make us unhappi n quarrel. i promise not to cry b4. then on the bus back, listen to his mp 3, he press the 1st song to my favourite, JJ jiang nan. intentionally or not, mi feel he play it for mi to listen. mi so touched. but nv show it out. tears in my eyes. after it, he press to a little of his favourite that time. he played The Reason. which i think abit wat he wanna tell mi. i really love him so much. but y i nv say it. once when i asked him if he remember when we started together. he say dunno n nwant mi tell him. but mi a little angry only n dun1 tell him. haiz... stupid temper. then on 20th july 2004, around stsudy week, we broke. b4 that, we went to watch movie alien vs predator with the gang. on the bus back. think he already thinking how to break with mi le bah... he got say on the bus. see... u nv even look at mi. im really hateful. under my void deck, he say, sit sit n tok 1st. i sense sth wrong. after saying awhile, he say think we should leave each other ba... i keep asking y... i dun1. i really dun1. i wanted a chance. pls. actually i didnt cry. i already promised no to cry le. but then he say just hug 1 last time. n that moment when we hug, tear dropped down unceontrollably... ultimate sadness filled my whole self. only then i realise the realilty. pain pain n only pain. as i say exam was round the corner. i just couldnt concerntrate. i could feel only pain. dun1 face anyone. but have to go sch. i wanna hit wall, vent my emotions thats cooping inside. sometimes i even send msg like blah blah bblah i really _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.... think i was really disturbing u... after that, we nv tok. we r like far apart. i feel the friends r pulling us apart too. though we sit beside each other everyday when doing project, i was really hard for mi. i know his feelings now might be everything alright for him. cos he initiate the break. maybe he doesnt even care wat i feel. n in fact, he doesnt need to care. he might already be liking someone not long after we break. was a little heart broken. but its my buisness.
keigo... just wanna say, i really really treasure those memories n thank you for everything n loving mi b4. n im very sorry for make u unhappy either during the relationship or after. all the best for u. alll the best for u.
n for those that love mi n comfort mi, i really do appreciate. i noe a few ppl that like mi. but i really is unable to like anyone of u now. dunnit be so good to mi.
n for that person that is always beside mi n willing to help mi, actually, after when we graduated, then i feel touched about the things u done. i really appreciate. i nv tell u so bcos i cant let u have the hope of u have chance or wat... right now i really dun think much abt relationship. u are now busy with your work. hope everything is well for u. thanks so much for everything everything.
flashbacks of the past [10:09 AM]
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
today laze at home again. haiz... whole day at com. morning play gunbound. then i change my blogskin. so troublesome. dunno how to do. lucky ruicheng no work, very free... haha... then help mi do... very thankful to u. hmm... yesterday i slp, dreamt of mi from ngee ann atrium wanna climb to canteen 1. the road ultra steep arh... steeper than mountain. have to use handrail to pull... haha... then saw andy lau... wah... so handsome. then i saw 1 person with cam n just ask him to help mi take photo. haha... who noes its my sec sch friend. wah... andy lau like so free... dunnit entertain others... juz stand here n there... thought got so close stand beside him n take photo... who noes it was only a dreamt. chey...
flashbacks of the past [5:43 PM]
Sunday, July 17, 2005
i just flip through our graduation booklet a minute ago. and i found some interesting things... the photo of my project room mates is there... wow... wonderful... nice... haha... its under page 11 ECE society... suan ching got see???
earlier today at 3, i went amoy street to do a survey. its about a new product of coke... adding lemon. i was there abt 20 mins n my incentives was $20. wow... gd. but took very long time to reach there...
flashbacks of the past [10:42 PM]
wednesday i went for my 2nd interview. it sux so very very much... i was so prepared. but my mind went blank when i was inside. haiz... dunno can anot. but i now giving a second thought liao. if go training need to cut like guys hair. then i got something going on until december. that will crush with the training if i pass. haiz... dunno how. so now. think i will find a part time job. any recommend? any oso can. juz wanna fill as much time in one day. friday was the graduation day. everyone wear n their hairdo n make up, makes them look like manager like that... the only thing that interest me that day was the project group photo only lah... next wednesday will be 1 year break. haiz... yesterday saturday, it was my friends wedding. i ask 1 friend to go along n i need to pay for him. haiz... spend so much money. the table all her sec sch friends... then like so ackward. but all very pretty. got one har... i buai tahan wanna say she looks exactly like zhang bo zhi, cecelia. but i nv say. it was my 1st friend wedding. then abit blur. after that we meet up with his friend n gf. i tot they will be like who i normally meet, study not too gd de. but then they r so friendly, uni in uk, normal wear ppl, always smile 1... n talks well. fluent. how i wish i were like them. we went fisherman village at pasir ris to have a drink, then went to see red house n then go changi village. normal. then go home. was abt 330.
flashbacks of the past [1:06 PM]
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
so long no blog le... quite alot of things happen. but i 4get liao... the last job i did, my pay was so little... $500 only... poor thing mi... sayang.. tok recently bah... ive pass my selection for police force... n going for 2nd interview which is face to face... this is the crucial part for mi. cos if i pass, then i think overall is ok liao... heard cyn say she might also pass... then hope we can be in same unit when we go training... hehe... just now saw tv... then saw the sales girl like cyn... i 99% think thats her... gonna ask her... then i went shopping for bags n clothes yesterday... walk until i leg pain... got 2 casual bags from blackeye. n 1 cloth from dcp... my formal wear i today then go back buy... cos i scan all the shopping centre then decide i wanna buy the one at taka... though its not 100% i like... haiz... spend abt $200. tml going for 2nd interview then gonna find out the pricing for studio photo shoot at bugis. oh ya... yesterday i oso go take the studio photo shoot at cineleisure... omg... damn ugly n fatty mi... cannot tahan my look sia... then friday mi going for poly graduation ceremony... cos nothing to do... think will meet with my god-di... nv see him b4... then saturday mi going friends wedding... gotta give her ang pow $160... cos wedding invitation mi n partner... so i go find partner must pay for him as well... :( mi like earn how much oso not enough 4 mi spend...
flashbacks of the past [10:23 PM]
Ayuii, Jolene, Liting
16 September 1985
Jobless
limliting@yahoo.com
miyonnaong@hotmail.com
lim_li_ting@lycos.com
Favourites
Shopping
singing
Dislikes
my temper
my stupidness
Dislikes (for guys)
not tender towards girl
disgusting people
unfaithful
no initiative
got more... wait i think then refresh
Wishlist
wish my BAI MA WANG ZI will appear
wish i have lots of $$
Memories
*March 2005
*April 2005
*May 2005
*June 2005
*July 2005
*August 2005
Music playing
Journey (by Angela Zhang Shao Han)
*ShAr0N
RuI cHeNG
We| yU
JaNeLLe
cYnTh|a
ShEmBeR|y
L|q|nG
kE|V|n
k|An H0cK
Ba| kA|
wE| yAnG
Ch|nG
h0Ng yUaN
w|Ns0n DiDi
he ping (AIR CHARGER for car)
.+. You and Me .+.
once, you held my hand
and told me you'll never let me go.
but now,
you left me all alone.
in the rain.